instead of proclaiming that every girl in the world is sexy no matter what why don’t we start talking about how it doesn’t matter whether or not you’re sexy because sex appeal is irrelevant and is used as a tool for male dominance
hey if you’re a gay guy and you grope a girl bc you think it’s funny or whatever i really truly don’t care that you’re not sexually attracted to women that’s a weak excuse for violating someone’s personal space and you know it
“I met my wife at a Star Trek convention. She was study abroad from France and spoke little English, and I didn’t know a lick of French. So, for the first few months of our relationship, we communicated by speaking Klingon.”—
That moment of anxiety when you are about to use a word you learned in books but have never said out loud and have no idea how to pronounce it oh god what if I say it wrong everyone will know I am a literate fool
Look around your college classroom, spot the virgins.
See, this seems like a game until you skip over the girl with a short skirt and hair in front of her eyes because you heard last summer that she slept with like nineteen guys. You can’t see her hands, but they’re under the table, pulling a rosary through her fingers as she tries to wash the sin off her. She’s only ever kissed three people in her whole life and they’re all girls. She turned down the wrong guy and he told everyone she’s “a whore.” The label “slut” stuck to the bottom of her shoe and swallowed her up.
But that quiet girl who is always reading probably never touched someone else’s penis, you figure, because you don’t know that she goes home and strips down and pulls on tight black leather, you don’t know she’s got a set of whips that could make any set of knees quiver, you don’t know because she’s proud of what she does but she’s not stupid enough to let anyone know about it. She’s sexy, just not here, not where people judge.
See, the truth is: you have no idea who has lost their virginity, because it doesn’t change you. It doesn’t give you some kind of glow or superpower or stamp on your forehead. You know the feeling of waking up on your birthday and thinking “I don’t feel any older whatsoever”? That’s what maybe they’re all so afraid of you finding out: sex doesn’t change you. Sex doesn’t make you an animal, sex doesn’t suddenly make your relationship a million times more stable or intimate or romantic - it can’t fix what’s broken, although it can make the pain go away for a bit. Sex doesn’t really occur with eighty tea lights and a thick white rug. Sex is ugly and loud and frequently awkward, sex is excellent and breathtaking and when you wake up the next morning, you’re the exact same person. There’s not some magical connection with the person in bed beside you. Believe it or not, pregnancy isn’t some kind of punishment - but practice safe sex, get tested, don’t spread your germs around. They want to tell you, “Sex can ruin you” and I’ve heard that a lot as a little girl, that some boy would join me under my sheets and then dump me four days after, used, unhappy.
But I figured out that I’m not a fucking toy. Letting someone have sex with me is not letting them “use” me, because I’m not an object. My father said the issue lay in the fact “Men are insecure and need to know that they’re the best you ever had,” but I think that’s a steaming crock of absolute-wrong and if I didn’t tell the people I’m with how many others I’d slept beside, there would be literally no way for them to know my number, because I don’t rust, I don’t wear out, I don’t get bruised. I’m not a wilting fruit, I don’t go rotten.
But here’s the thing: some people connect sex and emotion. I don’t personally because I am probably secretly an ice storm in disguise, but I still respect my partner’s desires. If they’re the type to want love and sex to coincide, I let them. I don’t make fun, I don’t pull one-night-stands or friends-with-benefits, because it’s not their “reputation” I’m afraid for: it’s their heart I’m defending.
Here’s the thing: Instead of worrying about people’s “purity” and how it defines them as a person, worry instead about how you can protect other people’s emotions.
Because here’s the thing: look around your room and spot the virgins. Look harder. You can’t tell. Sex doesn’t alter people, it doesn’t make them act in a certain way nor dress in a certain manner. Sex and personality have nothing to do with each other. There’s a reason that virginity doesn’t show on someone’s face: because having sex doesn’t cause you to change.
“Girls are raised in a society where flattering clothing means clothing that makes you look skinnier. Where fat is an insult more often than a noun and not just a physical description but a reflection of personality. Where “you look healthy” is what you say when a girl gains weight, but “you look good” is what you say when a girl loses weight. Girls are raised in a society that teaches them it is their own responsibility to be as small as possible because they do not deserve to take up space.”—Anonymous (via mileycyrs)
Sirius:Hey Hagrid can I have my godson whom I was entrusted to look after by my best mate, his father?
Hagrid:No, Dumbledore says you can't.
Sirius:But, legally, I-
Aurors:Sirius Black you are under arrest for the murder of twelve people and for being implicated in the murder of the Potters and for working for Lord Voldemort.
Sirius:But, if you looked at my wand you'd see I didn't cast any-
Sirius:Why would I even betray James? He was like a brother to me. He showed me what was wrong with my upbringing, he took me in when I was disinherited, and he was the best mate I ever had. I am so upset about his death I am barely coherent.
Aurors:Dumbledore says you did it.
Sirius:But I was working FOR Dumbledore. Literally ask any Order member or Death Eater and they will tell you that Voldemort hated me.
Aurors:You're going to wizard prison, motherfucker.